Saturday, October 20, 2012

Copa Cabana

It's coping town around here. I'm also hoping that Copa Cabana will replace those current pop songs that are eating their way through my brain with their terrible earworms. It's great driving music, except that they play the same exact songs at least once an hour. Which is torture. Torture!

At the Copa....

Yesterday the situation was Not Good with the stuff. I flung stuff everywhere getting it out of the trailer and then it was impossible to move or find anything. I was in such a state, my my! I kept opening fezzes, looking for something specific, and then instantly forgetting what was in each fez. Of the 25 or so.

Then I thought, I'll label them with the masking tape! I know I saw it in one of these fezzes! So I started opening each one in turn again. They're stacked three high under the kayak so it's a wee bit of effort to do all this is what I'm saying.

Anyway. I tidied up a whole lot of that today.

On the trailer:

blue trunk (full of lamps, computer, mirror, printer, who knows what else, didn't open it)
big mirrors
two bookcases my dad made
grandmother's ancient trunk/sea chest
grandmother's washstand thing
oak table
air cleaner Serge
space heater Serge
Ikea coffee table
square red side table
oak music stand (not actually in yet)
folding plastic table (ditto)
trampoline (ditto)
little laptop table shaped like a palette (ditto, using it now)
cheese box
some stuff I put in the sea chest like the turtle night light and the cookie cutters in their tin
some skinny stuff like poster tubes and tension rods and wrapping paper
some flat metal stuff like the rows of hooks you hang over the top of a door
that weird tall wooden rabbit in orange overalls
the wooden chessboard
a lot of lamp shades
mah bucket
mah mop, broom, vacuum
the bed frame
and eventually the mattress, once I get done sleeping on it

The car has all the dishes, microwave, sewing machine, quilting fabric, sewing stuff in general, etc.

Roof rack bags: There's a giant bag of various shoes and boots. I guess that has to come with. And I have to find my winter coat and sweaters and make sure to pack them up there. And the yarn. Cripes.

I bought a new tire and put it on the trailer, so that's solved, at least. Which means I have a spare. Yay!

I'm sure I've forgotten major things. Like for instance the big fez of Christmas decorations, yo. I do not see how that's going to fit. Maybe I'll just bring that one huge ornament the size of my head. I dunno.

I was thinking of bringing the couch frame, too, but I'm not sure about it. Maybe I'll stick it on top if the weight is looking okay.

I'm pretty tired of doing all this. AS ONE MIGHT IMAGINE. Just loading it all into a big truck would have been about 1/80th of the work. For example I had to put the same things on and off the trailer several times today because once I'd fixed the side/support frame so it didn't angle out, the width was seriously diminished. By inches. So things didn't fit the same way anymore.

Fun times!

So Sherlock is awesome, have you seen it? I don't know what I was waiting for. I absolutely love it. Sherlock himself is glorious and Watson is one of my favorite characters in just about forever. I love all the daft things they get up to and the dialogue is brilliant.

I just realized I completely neglected to include any chairs whatsoever when I packed up that trailer. Oh well, there's still room. Do I have any chairs? The one I borrowed to use as a desk chair is here in the lawyer house. Huh. Oh boy.

You guys, there's no hot water here, because no one lives here or cooks here, so I had to bathe by boiling the electric kettle about six million times and pouring it into the bathtub. And simultaneously boiling pots of water on my hot plate. I could have lit the butane stove outside too but that seemed like overkill. I was already nervous boiling two things at once.

Any bath is infinitely better than no wash. Or spongebath squarepants, either, for that matter.

I'm going to get a real shower over at the brotherland today though. First one since the sisterland! I may get to visit the cousinland on the way home though it depends on how fast I get out of here. I find the whole process of packing and moving stuff bewilderingly exhausting. I don't see *why* it's like that. Why? Why?

I suppose it's the cumulative exhaustion of all the decision-making. No doubt.

Meals have been fantastic, microwaved Indian food MREs and rice in the rice cooker, or oatmeal in the mornings. Perfectly. I'm all pleased and smug about how well I managed that, it's true.

The thing I did NOT manage is to get my direct deposit from Online Job rerouted in time. So it's going in on the same day the account is moving. That makes me incredibly tense. I need to call them first thing Monday morning and say STOP STOP STOP and hope that they can. Or if they can't, that it goes in okay and doesn't get lost in the changeover.

All of the branches of my old bank have signs saying they're becoming the new bank, which at least makes me relieved that it wasn't just me. I still think it's odd to sell all of the accounts to the new bank, though. Why would a bank give up accounts? I guess they're moving out of this town entirely. Possibly out of this state.

Mull, mull. I suppose I could leave tomorrow, couldn't I? I could. Huh. There's a lot still to do but I could push hard and get it done. Hmmmmm. Well. We'll see. If the choice is: work really hard and don't see the kids vs. work less hard and DO see the kids, well, that's a no-brainer, I'm going to wait and see the kids some more. No question.

Little niece and nephew are tremendously awesome and have way too much energy, holy cow. And they shriek and run around all the time. Shriek, shriek! Run around, run around! Aaaaaaah! I start getting woozy with exhaustion just thinking about them. Zonk.

Anyway, back to the salt mines. Things to heave! Heaving to be done! Heave ho! You don't know you're beautiful! Aaaaaaarrrrrgh, Barry Manilow has failed me earwormwise! I will have to play Single Ladies some more and eradicate those teenage anthem monstrosities. Avaunt, junior bazillionaires! Avaunt! The power of Beyonce compels you!

Monday, October 15, 2012

I want my stuff

I'm excited to get hold of:

my huge blue trunk
ancient oak table/desk
the rest of my sweaters
all the quilting stuff
whiteboard of awesomeness
my bed
the folding table
the yarn
kitchenaid mixer
electric mattress pad

I kind of can't think what else which is kind of weird because there's a lot more stuff. But I'm not remotely bringing everything. Just crucial survival tools like lamps. Hee.

I'm dreading the hassle of sorting and heaving and making decisions. And the drive is not really something that thrills me too much, though the scenery could be pretty until I hit the leafless lands. Though maybe I'll see some moose!

I'm excited to get to deliver lots of presents all over the place. That's just totally fun.

And I'm really excited to get my bed. I even figured out what to do with this one: turn it on its side and put it where a headboard would go if there were one. Then sitting up in bed won't mean leaning against a freezing outer wall. Yay!

Today I'm utterly gepooped because I got up super early to haul the garbage down to the road for the third time (they did take it, finally), mowed the whole lawn, did laundry (very labor-intensive here), hauled a whole lot of greenery from place to place, went to a doctor type person for a drug test, replaced my headlight with the proper bulb this time, ate the rest of all my leftovers, and washed up all the dishes.

So, like, a regular day for most people. I know!

I love switching out headlight bulbs. It's ridiculously easy. It's so fun to fix something so major when it's that easy. Like you can get a ticket if it's out! But to fix it you go twist, unlock, remove spring, pop out bulb, pop in new bulb, put spring back on, lock, twist. DONE.

It's an odd thing. I've never done it before on this car, but it was easy. My mom asked if I knew how to do it and I said no, but I know how to figure it out. You don't have to know everything on cars. You just sort of have to know how in general and then apply that with a willingness to be out of your depth. If I had to know how to do everything before I did it, I would never do anything, would I?

The greenery relocation was because the guys who cut the bushes dumped all the pieces they cut off into the neighbor's land. Whoops! I saw it when I was mowing. The leaves obscured it before but now they're down. And so with the wheelbarrow! And the heaving!

I'm a little bezonkered right now not just from the tiredness but because I suddenly got allergic to my fish/corn chowder. I know! What's up with that? Like huge hives all over my face allergic. Burny lips and all. It's irritating because of all the obvious reasons. What the what? Did something *grow* in it and I'm allergic to that? Because I ate it yesterday too and I was fine.

Grumph. Meanwhile, I look quite diseased. I am not getting a driver's license while I am all scarlet and hivey.

Or it could be the heinous toxic blue gunk the doctor guy had everywhere. He also turned off the water in the tiny bathroom. I think it's to prevent you from filling the pee cup with water to dilute your sample. I think he sprayed something around in there between patients, too. This was not your more professional medical establishment. Actually to be honest it was a chiropractor's office but that's where they said I had to go. I dunno!

Heh, I should totally take the dvd player and watch movies or tv while I pack/unpack/repack the trailer. It would make the whole thing much more endurable. And I have three tvs there waiting for me, after all. You guys, I might just do that. Awesome.

Tomorrow I have all this stuff to do, argh, crap. I'm packed to go but there's a mountain of other stuff that has to get done. Trying to plan for everything and remember everything really overclocks my brainbox. Oy!

Happy trails, bunnies!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Good soup

But this laptop, man, I think it's over. Overish. At least it needs to be on a desk and not on a lap. I haven't put the monitor back cover thing back together properly so it keeps coming apart. One cable (for the LCD screen) keeps coming out of its groove and then everything pops apart and the screen goes down backwards. Only all the time, though.

Plus the external keyboard, having to use that is a giant drag, seriously. Partly because it makes the monitor so far away.

In sum: deeply sub-optimal.


I finished my sewing thing today, woohoo! And it is awesome. It's even all wrapped up in the most beautiful deep blue paper. Mmmm.

And I made crazy curried corn fish chowder that came out utterly delicious and sinuses-clearing. Oh it's so good. I have a whole bucket of it if you want some.

I'm still majorly stressing out over this trip and the huge effort it's going to take, moving all that stuff, and all the coordinated logistical decision-making that will be required of me in short order in a stuffy mousey-smelling freezing cold garage. Though I suppose I have my space heater there and can plug it in and use it.

I have everything there. Almost. Really very close to everything.

Tomorrow I might mow the grass. And I have to change that headlight in the car. And I have to fill out my mountain of paperwork. And figure out which driver's license place to go to that'll be open either Monday or Tuesday, jeez! Oh and go get drug tested and fingerprinted and do eight million other things.

I would say I slipped one or two points down the scale of coping, because although I *am* coping and getting things done, I'm wigging out the whole time and my eye keeps twitching and I just want to crawl under the covers and stay there. Where the dog is right now, come to think of it. Yes, I want to crawl under the covers with the dog! And stay there.

I LOVE when he curls himself along my back, his back to my back. My brain goes ahhhhhh. I'm sure it's all shooting out dopamine or serotonins or whatever the good things are because I feel amazing. Warm dog on spine! So nice!

So what are you going to be for Halloween, huh? I'm going to be Professor McGonagall again, obviously. Last year doesn't count since no one saw me. Right? Though I'd be her again anyway. Gosh, I wear the robes practically every day!

This is awesome. My little nephew, who's about to turn two, wants to be Curious George, so my brother is going as The Man in the Yellow Hat. That is SO COOL. I want to see pictures! Especially of the little monkey dressed as a little monkey. Yay!

I need to find a good stick and carve a proper wand, don't I?

There will not be any trick or treaters here. Halloween: not big among old order Amish. Heh. You know I totally want their bonnets. They have the coolest bonnets, I'm not kidding. I passed all the kids coming home from school yesterday and had total bonnet envy.

How old does my niece have to be to see that movie with David Bowie stealing away her little brother? I totally blanked on the name of it. Also I'm confusing it (I think) with that one with the red-haired little person who saves the baby and Val Kilmer is in it with long hair. Help!

Gosh, I'm pooped. What do you say, stay up until 1 a.m. again playing sudoku, or go the heck to bed and try to rest up for the Ordeal To Come?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Baking the veg

Oh yeah, mm hmm. Yesterday baked acorn squash and got my mom to eat the other half of it. Today I was baking fish and put some sweet potatoes in the oven too and got my mom to eat one of those. Foisting orange and yellow veg upon my mom! She likes it, just doesn't think to eat those sorts of things very often.

Don't worry, I'm supplementing my fish and squash with pepperoni and monterey jack. Boy am I eating too much cheese. Boy oh boy. I went without for so long though! Now I'm all nom nom nom more cheese more more nom nom nom.

Planning a trip up north to grab some of my stuff means we are scrambling to get birthday presents and Christmas presents together/finished up/packed so I can deliver them in person. Woohoo! I had this whole plan about delivering some ancestral credenza thing to my brother (it is currently in the front hall, in the way) and even went so far as to haul the trailer my dad built out of the barn and hose the tons of mouse detritus out of it and jack it up and remove the flat tire, but he nixed the plan, alas.

Who doesn't want their ancestral credenza delivered, I ask you? Madness.

Yesterday, no, Tuesday, I got these big yellow soup bowl size mugs, you know the ones, for $1.50 each at the grocery store. I was roaming the aisles talking to D. on the phone since I can't get reception here and came across all sorts of things I wouldn't have if I'd been on my usual speed shopping hurry up only what you need hup hup hup. Big yellow mugs! I love them. I made lemon zinger in one and am Quite Thrilled about the whole thing.

I'm a little daunted at having to haul all that stuff out of the trailer and then pack it back in again, making decisions about what I'll need first and what can wait. Though I did a fantastic job planning and packing for this time period, staying here. I remembered to bring just amazing things that I can't believe I had the forethought to bring.

Anyway I'm busy thinking nonstop about what to take and what can wait, so presumably by the time I get there I'll have it all sorted out. This is the up side of my worry thing. That and having string if anyone ever needs string.

That was so funny. They were all impressed, and I had to say, "I have two whole balls of string in the car." I didn't mention it was in the tool bag with the duct tape and the hatchet, the hammer, screwdrivers, pliers, wire cutters, screws, and so on.

And my two sets of jumper cables.


Today I vacuumed the car (filth!) and cleaned it out, in the opposite order, and pumped up the tires. The headlights are doing something weird. Or maybe they aren't. The right one was out, then I went to look today and it was the left one, then I was moving the car from its cockeyed trailer-backing-up position and it was the right one. Huh.

Anyway I have to replace that before my trip. Whichever one it is.

I got a monumental sewing project cut out today on the living room floor by giving the pupper my Professor McGonagall robes to curl up on for comfort and security. Which he did, curled right up on the comfy pile of cuddly fabric and stayed there while I pinned and cut a giant thing. What a good boy! Mr. Kitty was hanging out with my mom because the family room was the warmest spot in the house. He goes for the comfort.

I'm hoping to get it sewn up tomorrow, depending on how the headlight replacement goes. Mostly I'm just hoping I don't have to drive to another county to get one, but you know, I might have to. Urgh. It's not like there's a Subaru dealership nearby.

I must not pack books on a trip to a place where I have thirty boxes of books. I must not pack books on a trip to a place where I have thirty boxes of books. I must not....or sweaters. Because they're almost all there too. As is practically everything I own, sheesh.

I have to take sheets, though. The electric mattress pad is there, which I think my comfort hound and comfort cat will like to see again.

Oh oh oh, all the heavy lifting and whatnot. Good thing the Lutherans have kept me in training.

Get cash for tolls. Bring tire paperwork. (Free alignment!) Remember phone charger. And so on.


Grooving with the old folks

Oh have I ever been. And they're so awesome. They're the nicest people you ever met and they can't quit hugging me and they were so excited to meet me once they figured out I wasn't my sister. And I introduced myself so many times as [mom's name]'s-daughter that I feel quite Icelandic. Bjork!

Also I'm exhausted. They ran me ragged! I helped with the food bank, which meant lots of carrying things around yesterday and lots of standing there outside and giving out bread today, when the people came to get the food.

We even went out to lunch at a local family restaurant, by which I mean not a chain, and that was awesome too.

At one point they needed string to tie up the hose and you know I totally had some in my bag. I'm the kind of person who always has string. And an apple, a fez of dates, a piece of cheese, all those aforementioned knives, my knitting, the last Harry Potter book, two or three kinds of earphones, four notebooks of varying sizes but only one pen (blue), ibuprofin, benadryl, spare underwear, two inhalers, the epipen, and a rawhide.

Oh! I got a job. I start the week after next. Wait, no, the one after that. The last Monday of the month. I am so excited! I'm going up to Maine to get my stuff, maybe Monday, if this sinus infection thing has stopped trying to claw its way out through my face by then. Nasty. Mr. Kitty gonna stay with Grandma but Mr. Puppy is going with me. I'll have to downsize the stuff on the trailer and load a bunch into and on the car, that sort of thing.

I have a soft tire and one headlight just went out. I think I can probably replace it myself.

I had the laptop all taken to bits yesterday all over the kitchen table, swapping out the keyboard (easy) and the monitor back (hard). But as it turned out neither one worked out. The monitor back was slightly different, enough that it wouldn't work, and the new keyboard has about six or eight keys that don't work. Though actually when I put the old keyboard back in, those six or eight keys still didn't work, in addition to the original broken ones.

That tells you it's the computer, not the keyboard, by the way. Which is bad news. I mean it may just need a little solder on the connection where the keyboard goes to the rest of it, but I can't do that sort of thing, nooo.

Guess what? Pineapple juice! Have you seen it in the juice aisle? I swear it's new, at least to my personal vicinity. I know I've never seen it before. Libby's brand, nothing in it but water, concentrate, and vitamin C. YUM.

What other excitement has been happening? None! At all! Well I learned about Sudoku and can't stop playing it, the best game in the world for Vulcans like me, but otherwise I've been alternately lying about coughing and sneezing and moaning about the stupid sinus infection, having huge swoops in fever, pulling ticks of the dog, the cat, and myself (EW), and of course helping out the awesome old people.

Ticks give me the screaming horrors. And then I think I have them on me all the time, so I look like a caricature of a person with that particular delusion that bugs are crawling on them. Yesterday I looked down and one was crawling across my hand. GAAAAAAHHHHH.

I got my flu shot last week but I didn't get my don't freak out at arachnid parasites shot.

I have stopped romping around the woods so much, though. Once it gets good and cold they'll die off or disappear in whatever way, I don't even care so long as I don't have to see them or think about them ever again or at least for a long time. Brrrrrr, yuck.

Here's a thing. They were talking at lunch about someone's dad who someone had said "I'm so sorry to hear about your dad" about to someone else on Facebook, but nobody knew what happened, except then the waitress came over and said he died last night which she knew because his daughter was working there when it happened.

I wonder if it's snowing in Maine yet? I need to get up and back before it comes down. I'm doing very well at keeping up with things and taking care of everything and generally COPING but that's going to be a big one. However if you're judging mental health and general stability and whatnot I'm eight million times better than when I got here. Holy Moby on skates, I was not in good shape. But now, lookit, I went out to help at the food bank yesterday by myself with all those people I'd never met. And even though you may think a bunch of elderly Lutheran friends of my mom aren't scary, and of course they aren't, I would have crawled under the bed rather than do that two months ago.

Plus you know acquiring gainful employment and all that. Two jobs, to be accurate, counting Online Job. AWESOME.

Also writing. Woooooo!

Now I just need a home of my own with proper DSL and tv of some sort and we'll be getting somewhere. Yes!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Enchanted forest

This is so odd. Someone, probably the psycho neighbor I've never met, put a wildlife viewing tower on the family land. And one of those motion sensor wildlife cameras strapped to a tree. And a bushel of corn poured on the ground.

So what's going on here is he's taking pictures of turkeys and/or deer and planning to shoot them from absurdly close range from this tower.

I just think that's so weird.

We've been going over all these scenarios for how to deal with it. Of course he's clearly trespassing and hunting on someone else's property, so it's clear where the rights of things lie, but that's kind of not the point.

I was marking the trail to the spring with orange plastic ribbons, as one does in the woods, when I saw some tied in odd places. Ones I knew I hadn't put there. Which of course were to mark this guy's trail from his property to the viewing tower. It's a big tall metal ladder with a platform on top, strapped onto a tree.

It freaked me out, I can tell you that. Also I took down the other ribbons because they would be confusing for someone (not me) who was following my ribbon trail to the spring, see. But that also might give a clue to platform guy that the property owners are onto him.

Also he's going to have some interesting pictures on his camera of me and my pup, because we were all over the place before I noticed the camera.

Just so strange.


My favorite idea so far is going up there and blasting off a lot of shotgun rounds. Even leaving shell casings on the ground there would work. All of the various ideas are under advisement with the management. I'm glad I don't have to decide what to do!

In other news:

1. Online Job is back, yay!

2. I sewed butterfly appliques over the holes the dog tore in my blue hoodie in his youthful exuberance. I love how they look.

3. I finally put the Warehouse 13 dvds out for the mail. I'd been clinging to them for days even though (daft) they were already sealed up in the outgoing envelopes.

4. I will never get over Jinksy even though I know what happens in the beginning of season 4. Never!

5. I made awesome pizza tonight, oh man!

6. You really can't chew pepperoni with only one lower molar.

7. I still have this wicked sore throat and only a very old bottle of tequila to kill it off so I can sleep, except then I can't sleep because of tequila for some reason. It's tricky. Also ow.

8. I promise to wear earplugs and leave the dog home if I have to go shooting up the mountain. And also I promise not to shoot anything. Obviously. Also I wish my brother would be here for that part if it happens. And kind of in general where this guy is concerned.

9. Clearly I need to get rum and lemons and make hot toddies for sore throat eradication purposes. I can go to the store and do that tomorrow! Because....

10. Tomorrow I get to go help all the old people at the food bank at my mom's church because they're all really old and need someone young and strong to lift the boxes. I got volunteered but I'm totally into it. Also it's great to feel like the young one, hee. I've already helped them out once. Yay, food banks!

11. I'm all bundled in this ancient butterfly quilt that I remember using when I was a teeny tiny kid and got sick. It has a wool blanket inside it as batting so it's the warmest thing in the world. It's all rickety and coming apart and I adore it. I could not get warm this evening. Crazy!

12. If I didn't have a lack of gall bladder already I would think it was going kablooey but maybe there's some muscle or something in there that you strain from, um, running around in the woods with your dog? And then it hurts for days and days? I'm sure it's utterly unrelated that my dad found his pancreatic cancer because of that exact thing. Utterly! Unrelated! Anyway it's probably sugar overdose. Dopey.

Holy macaroni, it's super late and I haven't even had any therapeutic tequila, oh well. It looks hilarious to me, Jose Cuervo on the bedside table next to the tissues and the pink grapefruit juice. I cannot seem to beat this sore throat. Away with you! Away!

Updates on dramatic loopy hillbilly shenanigans as they transpire.

Saturday, October 6, 2012


When were you last in a courthouse? Because they do not want you to bring your knives.

I had no idea I was such a redundant knifer but in my backpack was a great big leatherman type thing (with a six inch blade and probably a saw), a folding blue-handled knife I use for cutting tape when packing, a swiss army knife, a pair of sewing scissors, fingernail clippers, toenail clippers, tiny scissors shaped like a dog, and probably some other cutting implements I've forgotten about.

Also pepper spray/teargas. Blue!

I seem to think I need a lot of things to cut with.

And that's just a fraction of what I brought with me here. Big sewing scissors, round quilt fabric cutter (like a pizza cutter), multiple small scissors, that absurd big Jayne Cobb style survivalist knife that was my uncle's, a hatchet, a saw, a hammer, and two crowbars.

Jeebus. If this were the beginning of a novel, it would be about someone who feels TRAPPED.

I also brought the entire runs of Battlestar Galactica and Farscape, including the extra movies, and of course you know about the four boxes of books, many pounds of yarn, my dvd player, the smallest flat tv, and a stuffed bunny. Sleeping bag, electric kettle, butane stove, soup pot, cooking pot, two small cutting boards (but no kitchen knives), about eighteen kinds of tea, and a wall calendar with eagles on it. Two fleece vests, two wool shirts, a bronze laughing Buddha, a wax lion from the L.A. zoo, a yellow tea mug, a blue tea mug, two thermoses, and my Professor McGonagall robes. But not my witch hat. I had to go get a new one for $3 at Target since Halloween is coming up.

So trapped but also incredibly over-prepared for any occasion. What a combo!

I did not bring my winter coat, however. Genius! Nor my snow boots. But I figure with the fleece jackets and wool shirts and wool sweaters and five hats and all those Doc Martens I should be able to manage to stay warm. Especially since I'm pretty much never cold.

Gawain and I went for a walk up the mountain today, SO FUN! I'm trying to establish a path through the clearish area, instead of where the path used to be, which is overrun with briars and things. Like frakking hawthorns. One shoved a spike into my scalp. Bastard hawthorns.

I made Gawain wear his orange fleece cape and I wore my orange fleece vest, because bowhunting season is upon us and even though we were on the family's property, the boundary to the west has people living right near it and you never know. It's best to be bright orange.

Gawain gets all mortified when he has to wear the orange cape. He has a point, given he's the size of a beagle and all white, but I'm adamant. People shoot pickup trucks. Never underestimate potentially drunk and stupid people with guns, especially if they're trespassing.

I suppose I could likewise arm myself since my late uncles' ridiculous arsenal is here, some absurd number of various firearms. Different family members keep trying to urge weapons on me at different times, but I think I'm okay, thanks. You know the bananarama people always ask about guns, and I was like, I would never ever ever even remotely consider anything like that in a million years, and the guy said something so bizarre: He said (how does he know this?) that most people who attempt suicide do it within five minutes of thinking about it.

I really don't see how they can know something like that. But anyway his point was that it's often a spur of the moment thing so don't own guns. Which suits me just fine. Guns are alarming and unnecessary. Whereas my five foot wooden bow has never alarmed me one bit. Twang!

Also I think it's odd that the guy seemed to imply that such a thing can just *come upon you* all of a sudden like that, like some spell out of Harry Potter. Surely we are in control of things like that? Or I guess that was his point, maybe some people really aren't. Gosh. I never actually thought of that.

See what going to the courthouse makes you think about?

The guards were so funny. They were like, "Um, ma'am, do you have a razor knife in this bag?" And I was like, "Oh, who knows, I have no idea what's in there, probably one of everything you can think of." Nobody was even worried. What's a razor knife, anyway? Plus it was the wrong building.

Going back to that town again (where I went to HS) to go to the IRS was much easier than the first time. It even looked pretty and old brick-y like Philadelphia. And you never hear me make a positive comparison to Philadelphia. I haven't revisited any old haunts or anything. Our old house, my grandmother's old house, my old schools. Friends' houses. Nope. Nor have I called people who are still there.

Maybe I should get a little less dysfunctional and make some phone calls. Sheesh! Okay, maybe I will.

No results yet from Thursday's whatsit.

There is crazy shenanigans going on with banks. I currently somehow have SIX bank accounts. That's because my old bank sold me to a new bank, checking and savings, so that's four, but I don't want the new bank so I opened checking and savings somewhere else. However, I don't dare use the original bank's accounts because they'll close soon and none of the new accounts are active yet.

I'm in the most absurd banking limbo. Six bank accounts, can't really use any of them. Never mind that the nearest branches for *any* of the banks are about two hours away at least. The one they sold me to is in Maine. Where I am not. Though most of my stuff is. Awesome.

I was awake until 5 this morning. Whoops. Possibly because I just discovered sudoku and it woke up my zombified brain. Can that happen? Then after the walk up the mountain, I had the worst blood sugar crash I've ever had, shaking and couldn't move and stuff, and while I was eating food to recover, I tried to do another sudoku and could not even begin to figure it out. Like, at all. Not one digit. Major short term stupidity. Such a weird experience.

I have to quit sugar for real, you guys. It's evil! Clearly it's trying to kill me. All I'd eaten before that was my usual bowl of oatmeal with two apples and sugar mixed in. Big mistake to climb mountains on that.

Guess what I didn't take with me on my hike up the mountain? What might have been useful in a woodland setting when clearing brambles off trails? You are correct. A knife.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Wait and see

Epic travels and questing today. I even went to the IRS office and got the nice lady to sort out all of the confusion and madness that has entwined itself around my taxes. It turns out the IRS made some big weird mistake and erased record of all my withholding. Isn't that bizarre? Anyway I don't owe them three grand for which let us all be very thankful.

I feel like hundreds should be formals or something if thousands are grands. What's a step down from grand? Grand sounds like a ballroom and lots of velvet swags.

I might be really tired.

Because I had an early THING this morning (tell you later) and then I went on the crazy looping recursive quest to try to register to vote, which took me to all sorts of places because I thought it was one place but it wasn't (and never has been, apparently, don't know why I thought that) then tried three different driver's license places, all of which were closed except for the one that was only doing photos (why?) and the one that doesn't exist anymore because it's now the state police barracks.


Once I rode my bike out to that barracks one to take the test and get my first permit. Pretty awesome! It's insanely far when I look at it now. I also rode my bike past those barracks and all the way to the mall one time. Still not sure how I did that. But I did a lot of distance biking in those days of the *not enough sense* variety, where I'd just decide to go somewhere and take off, finally dragging myself home up the hill hours later completely wrecked.

My brother wins though because he and a friend biked out here from where we lived in high school, which is a 45 minute drive even with vehicular transport, and had to call for retrieval because it had gotten dark and was also insanely too far away.

So clearly it's a common trait at least in two out of three of us siblings.

I used to bike out here but Amish people stare A LOT when you wear bike shorts. I'm not kidding. I was uncomfortable. Anyway, no bike right now! So I'm safe from that hazard at least.

They also used to stare when I'd go for walks in the rain and knit Jayne hats under my poncho with the skein of yarn in a bag hanging at my side. Heh. That was far less mortifying though.

They're not into my haircut right now, either. Too short. You think I don't understand your mutated low German dialect from 1800 whatever, but I get kind of a lot of it, girls who work in the store. Ahem! Which one of us is wearing a bonnet? I rest my case.

No, they're awesome, and the haircut reaction is just as common in Walmart.

So anyway!

Right, epic journey all around the shop again. In the end I went to my second county courthouse of the day in my second county and just filled out the little voter registration form, for which YOU DON'T NEED A DRIVER'S LICENSE even though everyone's been telling me you do. SHEESH.

So yay, I'm registered to vote! And boo, I went all over creation for no reason! Oh well.

Ooh, then after about my third driver's license place stop, I suddenly broke out in a huge allergic reaction, with the left side of my face swelling up and all red and all mosquito bites. It was very irritating as I had not done or eaten or drunk anything to set that off. I had grits and tea for breakfast and nothing since.

So I went to Long John Silver's and ate a bunch of fried fish out of sheer pique. And hunger. Oh man was I hungry.

I don't think I've ever eaten there before. It's all fried and fried. I got a plate with fried fish, onion rings, two hush puppies (yay!) and coleslaw. I could have eaten about sixteen of those fried fish quadrilaterals. Two angles, so acute! Two angles, so whatever the other word is that's not acute! Obtuse, yes! Oh boy. I'm in a fish feeding frenzy lately anyway, seriously, and when it's fried on top of that? YUM.

Plus you get to ring this big bell on the wall on the way out if you thought it was good or whatever and the whole staff yells, "Thank you!" so of course I did that. It was fabulous in every way. There's a rope hanging from the bell. Oh, Admiral Hornblower!

Then I bought some benadryl because I mysteriously didn't have any on me and it was getting bad in the itchy mouth puffy throat kind of way, then wigged out the guy in the store by taking two right there without water. It was hilarious because he acted like I was all hardcore, like I'd ripped the top of the bottle off with my teeth or something.

Then I walked the dog, slept for five hours, had a bowl of sweet potato apple curry soup, and watched Warehouse 13 until it was ALL GONE. I'm so sad! No more! I'd already seen every single episode, too. Why did I think I'd missed half that show? Every single episode. Amazing!

I feel like tomorrow will bring good and interesting things, and not just a benadryl/fried food fiesta hangover. I'm definitely getting that one.

It is not explicitly stated that Trailer the dog was at Leena's when It All Went Down at the end of season 3, but I KNOW THE TRUTH. Trailer was surely at Leena's and perfectly safe. Sleeping on Claudia's bed or something.

Sherlock is here once I've squeezed all the life I can out of the last Warehouse discs. But I'm thinking about watching that hockey stick wizard show now, the one with Murphy the cop. I've blanked on the wizard's name. Starts with D. Dresden! Yes.

Oooh, I will at some point have to get somewhere with free wi-fi and buy Warehouse 13 on iTunes. That's clearly the way to go. I cannot be running around missing episodes and all that malarkey.

So that's another eventful day, huh? Two in one week! Amazing! Fantastic! Astounding! Quadrilateral fish!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Step, step, step

It's lovely if unexciting to make incremental progress! Woohoo!

Before I list said awesome yet unexciting incremental progress, I just have to say:

1) I can't bear the debates but I hope my guy wins wins wins.

2) One of the worst personality crimes is denying facts in the face of facts. I mean, consciously knowing the truth and denying it to win an argument or make a point or just NOT BE WRONG. Holy wow, that's so awful.

3) I'm reminded over and over how hard it is to leave other people's stuff on the other side of my imaginary white picket fence. Just, don't accept it. It's not mine. Don't lean over the fence and pick it up. Leave it there. The jackals will eat it and the rest will blow away.

4) Am tempted in those instances to whip out a wand and yell "Protego!" but that's from reading way too much Harry Potter recently. Yo.

5) I keep calling the Tea Party people Teabag people by mistake, completely unintentionally, and then I have to laugh my head off. Teabaggers, that's what I call them. Oh dear. Hee.

Anyway that's not the list. That's the list of things that precedes the list of incremental progress.

Incremental progress! This is the list.

1) new laptop battery arrived, yay! This means I will write without that constant terror (justifiable) that a furry housepet will yank the power cord out and I'll lose everything. Which means I will write. And did. All day. YAY.

2) I opened a new bank account (did it online) so I can start moving all the payments and direct deposits over before the old one gets all complicated. The bank sold it or something, I don't know. Good step, me!

3) I ordered the parts to fix my laptop keyboard and monitor frame, since the battery went so well and it made such a difference in no time flat. I think the laptop needs to WORK. Jeeezzzzzz!

4) I made soup tonight even though I didn't want to do anything. Hey, it counts.

5) I have a Thing tomorrow. My stomach is upset already and I probably won't sleep much. But I'm ready. Thing!

6) Every time I deal with something that's been nagging or problematic for ages or cope with some new development, it makes everything else so much easier. For true!

7) Finish things!

8) Don't put up with things being all crappy-like. Fix it or shut it out. Reduce exposure!

That's all I've got.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Demons! I'm telling you!

I had to go buy some fabric and face lotion, both unavailable in this COUNTY, which meant Leaving The Area. You can buy fabric and face lotion here, just not the kind I wanted, see. I had to leave the immediate area. It was all scary and weird and stuff. And fraught!

Even the immediate area is fraught because of the store where I used to work and the university where I used to teach. But today as I was all bravely driving across the county line I realized I'm parked halfway between the town where I went to junior high and high school (where I went on my quest today) and the town where I went to grad school. Criminy.

It's not even that bad things happened or whatever. It's not like I fled those places in horror, shrieking. I didn't love junior high but high school was mostly fine, me and my stalwart bunch of nerdy friends. Grad school was the same way. It didn't get horrible until after I moved away. (Because I moved away, actually.)

My revelation of the day was that I'm just not good with the past. And more thinking about that made me figure it's probably because I'm not doing so great with the present. Why else would I go around this town all full of terror, looking at every person I see like they're going to point an accusing finger and shout, "You! You had so much potential! Look at you now! Also you got fat!"

I think it's extremely unlikely anyone would even think that, unless they happened to be EVIL and also immune to the passage of time. Fears like that always seem to forget that everyone else my age is also my age. They're not still the age they were last time I saw them. And they have not had perfect lives. No one has.

I do tend to field a lot of judginess in my daily life lately, which I assume is where this comes from, feeling like everyone else is constantly going to judge harshly also.

Anyway that was all fascinating to me and my navel. And I had a great time talking about Professor McGonagall to everyone I met in the fabric store. They were all absolutely lovely. I adore strangers. That's weird, right? Or maybe not. In my experience, strangers are very nice. It's those other ones you have to watch out for.

Oh and I went to Target and got my face lotion. Four bottles. I was **this close** to being completely out. I even tried an alternative version, which I wish I hadn't. And I got a hat shaped like a roast turkey for my little nephew, who was born on Thanksgiving. It's awesome in its over the top ludicrous turkey on the head way.

I'm all allergical right now. I wasn't until I a) drank some peppermint and Breathe Easy tea and b) ate some candy corn. Oh oh oh, the candy corn. Weakness, thy name is autumn mix! Woe!

So I was fine before--and I had that flu shot at 10:00 this morning--but just now, 11 hours later, burst out into a red face and hives. I have to cure this quickly because of A THING coming up Thursday.

Actually I had to do recon today after all that driving to the high school county and wound up driving to the grad school county because my iphone told me the place was located somewhere that turned out to be an Amish cornfield with a disturbingly attractive Amish guy in rubber boots walking out of the barn across the street.

Well, they're insanely fit, see. I got all confused in the grocery store Sunday because all these stupidly fit college boys from the university where I used to teach were wandering around the aisles trying to find food while I was doing the same thing. And each time I'd be all, jolt! Whoa! It's irritating to have that happen when I'm older than their moms, you guys. Seriously. Of course I'd have the same jolt, whoa! if I saw a beautiful Labrador or some fuzzy kittens. Buggy horses, too, those beautiful shiny chestnut coats. So maybe it's just aesthetic, right? Keep telling me that.

Sorry, pause to make more peppermint tea. I've turned into a peppermint tea junkie. It's madness. All I want all evening is peppermint tea, more peppermint tea, more more more! I pretty much want to start boiling the kettle before I even drink the cup I have. What the what?

Anyway I did find the place, back in *this* county again. Yes, there are three counties ranged from SW to NE and I've spent considerable time in each one of them. And I'm in the middle county again.

I have to bite the bullet and get a driver's license, I guess, though I heard they just stopped a nasty voter id law that requires photo id to register. We'll see. I suppose the license isn't that big a deal. I just resist this area. Resist! Resist with your last ounce of strength! Resist with every fiber of your being!

I've been dealing and dealing and dealing, getting major things done and out of the way, and each thing I do makes the next one easier, so I suppose the license thing is just one more hurdle. Getting the flu shot was a major hurdle.

Dude, I am not getting a license picture taken when I have a red spherical head like a dodge ball like this. Unless I have to. Then I will. I'm going to vote, you just watch me, whatever it takes.

Also can I just recommend that yoga thing where you always try to keep your head sort of balanced on top of your spinal column like a ball? Stand up straight and walk proud, seriously. You won't believe how different it makes you feel. And now you don't have to edge the driveway for hours (by choice) and heave a wheelbarrow up into the woods to be reminded of this by lower back pain! You're welcome! The driveway looks great, though.

I'm working on trying to stay inside my head and shut out irritants so that I can write more more more, like the peppermint tea. I get yanked out by things that bother me. It's a constant battle. So I'm working on it. I do remember that headphones are a fantastic tool for this for me. So as soon as I find them I'll try that.

Benadryl time. Woo, boy. But, flu shot, yay!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Televisual baked goods, out of synch

Ever since Artie said "oatmeal scotchies" I've needed to bake some and finally did tonight. Are oatmeal scotchies oatmeal cookies with butterscotch chips? Because that's what I made. SO GOOD. I ate some warm ones just out of the oven while watching Once Upon A Time, even though it clearly should have been apple tart (hold the evil) but they were oh so good I ate too many. Mmmmm.

Warm cookies! Awesome television! Hurray!

That was a great episode, huh? I love how Prince Charming is still a total doofus and squashed the hat. Honestly, that guy. I loved Mulan and Aurora bickering and how that made fun of the traditional Disney princess thing very effectively. And Philip on the slab! And I loved the twist so much!

The best was Mr. Gold as usual. And Mary Margaret. And Emma. And Henry. And Regina. And I'm always happy to see the Jiminy Cricket doctor. And Grumpy! And Red and Cranky Granny! Oh, who am I kidding, I adore all of them.

I have no idea what that scene at the beginning was, alas--tuned in just enough seconds too late that I didn't know who was who or what was going on. Actually I thought it was some other show entirely. But I was watching on the tiny poorly tuned tv in the kitchen so reception wasn't very good.

Probably a loose cable, come to think of it.

Anyway, an awesome evening. I made baby bella mushrooms and brown rice and green beans, then baked the cookies, washed up all the dishes etc., and got to watch my show, which puts this evening about a million points ahead of most other evenings. Not gruel! Baking! Woooooo!

As UFYH and also my own curriculum hammer all the time, it's very important to make small plans and then carry them out. It really helps with the feeling of dog paddling in place, see? And that was several plans, all carried out, all in one day. Awesomeness.

I've also been knitting these iron helmet hats that I designed, and carrying out various Restore The Path projects, and so on, but otherwise it's a sea of reading, knitting, walking the dog, snuggling the cat, watching dvds while knitting, darning wool socks--and my holey black sweater, so great!--and otherwise muddling along in inconsequential ways. Of course looking for work in the usual existential manner. Slaying wild roses. And so on.

I have to design and knit my acorn cap, man! It's time! As soon as I finish the latest iron helmet.

Spear and magic helmet? Spear and magic helmet!

Here's a nice thing. I got done with breakfast and the dog was giving me the "this is boring, let's go outside" routine, so I took my iron helmet in progress and my cup of tea and we dragged the blue chair down into the sun and sat there for a long time, all sun-soaked and cozy. Of course he was on my lap. We looked around at the mountains and watched the birds and listened to the geese and chickens and turkeys across the way wig out. There are eagles here, did you know? I know! Eagles!

Every other thing is named after bald eagles around here but there weren't any for ages, but now they're back. I kept seeing them and thinking, "I don't know what that is because there aren't eagles here but it sure looks exactly like a bald eagle." And then it turns out they totally are. Awesome. Love seeing that six foot wingspan held flat as a board, soaring over the mountains.

Between the eagles are coming and a shortcut to mushrooms, today is fairly Tolkienesque. I should get out my bow! Except I think we're in one of those dull, peaceful chapters where they get somewhere safe and sleep and eat a lot, like with Beorn or Tom Bombadil. Very boring to read but nice to be in. And the food is great, when I bother to cook it. Mmmm!

Oatmeal scotchies, my friend. Yum.